Sunday, October 11, 2009

36: Discharge

Leviticus 14-15
Leviticus 14 is all about cleansing yourself from infectious skin diseases. This involves taking two birds, killing one and draining it's blood, then dipping the other bird into the blood of the dead bird and setting it loose. Then you sacrifice three more lambs and bring the priest some fine flour. How many dead animals are piling up at this point? And how many do the Israelites have? At this point, they must be breeding them just so they can burn them on the altar for all of their sins. What's the point?

Leviticus 15 is titled "Discharges Causing Uncleanness", this should be interesting. At first it talks about "men with discharges". I presume this means pus or blood from some sort of skin ailment. Anyone who sits on this man's bed will be unclean till evening. I'm not sure what evening has to do with cleanliness. After he is cured from his discharge he has to sacrifice two doves to God before he can be clean. Sure, why not? Nothing says "glad you're well" like killing some innocent animals.

If a man has an emission of semen he must wash his whole body and is unclean till evening. Also, if two people have sex and there is an emission of semen they both must wash their whole bodies and they are both unclean till evening.

If a woman is on her period and anyone touches her, they are unclean (and the person on their period is definitely unclean). The bible refers to the period as "impurity", and says that anything she sits on or touches will be unclean. So all you Christian guys out there, if you've ever touched a woman (not sexually, just touched) on her period, you were supposed to immediately wash your clothes and bathe in water, and you were unclean till that evening. Oh, and all you Christian girls out there, sorry, you're totally unclean for a quarter of your life. And to think, all this time I thought it was just middle school boys that thought these things. Nope, it's God too.

What is the penalty for being unclean for the Israelites you might ask. Death. What else?
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