Saturday, November 7, 2009

63: Bible - Not Suitable for Children

Deuteronomy 14-16
Well, the bible isn't very exciting today, but I've got plenty of other bible related things to talk about. Let's get my bible reading responsibility out of the way first.

Deuteronomy 14 spells out (again) the kind of animals that are unclean. This is, as far as I can tell, a condensed version of Leviticus 11. The end of Deuteronomy 14 is about tithes, you should give 10% of your things to God.

Deuteronomy 15 is about the year of canceling debt. This has already been talked about. Every 7 years is a year of canceling debt, and every 7x7(+1) years is the year of jubilee.

Chapter 16 (again) tells about the different festivals the Israelites are supposed to celebrate. This is at least the third time these festivals have been described (passover, feast of weeks, and feast of the tabernacles). Why is it necessary to repeat these things three times?

*Rated R*
I was shown a website yesterday that rates your blog based on it's content. I decided to plug in my blog out of curiosity. I fully expected I would receive a G or PG rating, because I generally refrain from cursing or any other sort of vulgarity. So imagine my surprise when I saw this:

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This is due, according to the website, to 13 instances of the word "kill", 9 instances of "death", three instances of "sex" and one use of "ass". It must just be reading the first page because I know I've said those words more than that. This is funny, considering I'm summarizing the bible. We can only conclude that the bible is rated R, and why not? Sex, violence, incest, rape, murder, to name a few. So, to all those Christian parents that don't let their children watch rated R movies; you should also prevent them from reading the bible, until they are old enough to handle it's vulgarity.

*Bible News*
In a recent interview, Sir Ian McKellen (aka Gandalf, Magneto) admitted that he rips out pages in Leviticus from every bible that he can get his hands on. The passage that he aims to remove is Leviticus 18:22 - "Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable". He says that the choice is to either rip out that page or throw away the whole bible. My suggestion is that you throw away the whole thing, because there is a lot more to rip out than Leviticus 18. In fact, Leviticus 18 isn't even the only place where gay people are condemned.

[Edit: It's even worse than I said]
So, like I said, the blog rater only reads the first page. Now that I've posted this blog, which apparently contained the word "rape" (oops, said it again), and "murder", which the bible also contains by the way, my blog is now rated NC-17. Which means no one under the age of 17 should be permitted to read this blog. So, Christian parents, I'll reiterate that not only should your children not be allowed to read this blog, they should not be allowed to read the bible.

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1 comment:

  1. When did you mention ass? Was that the talking donkey?



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