Thursday, November 19, 2009

75: Legos Sin Too

Joshua 19-21
All of Joshua 19 lists towns allotted to the remaining six tribes (not listed in chapter 18). Sometimes I get the feeling that the translators of the NIV just slapped their keyboards for some of these city names. Here are some of my favorites: Allammelech, Shahazumah, Zaanannim, Shaalabbin. I think this is the formula for biblical town names, start with a short, nonsensical word. For example Blah. Then you repeat a syllable. Giving you Blalah. Repeat a couple of the letters. Blaallah. Add "sha" to the beginning and "ah" to the end. Shablaalah. Yes, I'm bored, and I've probably just offended anyone who speaks Hebrew. Sorry, your language looks funny in English.

This is one of those sections that could be ripped out and effect nothing. I mean, no, all the sections are important, because it's the word of God.

Chapter 20 is titled "Cities of Refuge". No! We've talked about cities of refuge twice already, I don't know if I can take this level of boring. I wrote about it here if you really want to read it again.

Oh no, all of chapter 21 is more dividing up land. This time for the Levites. The chapter ends with the narrator telling us that God fulfilled all of his promises. By the way, does Joshua narrate Joshua? I guess that would make sense.

*News* (sort of)
Hmm, bible news is slow. Luckily I'm still finding interesting bible related things to talk about.

A man that identifies himself as "Rev. Smith" has created a Lego illustrated bible. I can't really tell if this is a Christian site or not. Some of the sections in the law category come off a little snarky, such as "When to stone your children" and "When to stone your whole family".

There are so many good pictures from the law section, but I think this one is my favorite:
Yes, this is a man masturbating, while watching TV, with a Lego pizza on his lamp stand. Note the white Legos on the floor. Why does he have Lego legs laying next to his couch?

(thanks to Adrian Moore of Metaxis for the inadvertent story suggestion)


  1. I think the "legs" are supposed to be the pants he removed in order to masturbate.

    (btw, I love your blog)

  2. If you buy the books, they have a little blurb where god comes to him in a pizza bar or something, and tells him to make the brick testament, and he protests that he's an atheist and doesn't even believe in god.

    It's a joke. But that doesn't stop good little christian families buying the books for their children, complete with gory (lego) massacres and adultery, and completely missing the joke.

  3. Good call from Jemand. That Lego Bible website was insane.

  4. I am pretty sure the guy who makes the Lego Bible is not a christian... incase that is not realized already. However, I believe the Rev. Smith though claims to make the Lego Diaramas as "literal" as possible.

  5. If you have any question about whether the Lego bible is a joke, check out the spies and the prostitute story from Joshua. I just picked myself up off the floor.



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