And Jephthah made a vow to the LORD : "If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites will be the LORD's, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering." Judges 11:30-31
Chapter 10 repeats the Judges format. Israelites worship other gods. Israel somehow decides they like the "real" God again. God reluctantly sends a Judge. At the end of chapter 10 the bible says that God can bear Israel's misery no longer. Which implies that God is ok with misery up to a certain point (I guess that makes sense with all of the suffering in the world).
In Judges 11 we hear about Jephthah, a great warrior. He is ejected from Israel by his brothers because his mother is a prostitute. Of course, when the Ammonites attack Israel, they want Jephthah back to fight them. He reluctantly agrees. The Ammonites must be a large army because Jephthah makes a deal with God, and it's part of our quote of the day:
If you give the Ammonites into my hands, whatever comes out of the door of my house to meet me when I return in triumph from the Ammonites will be the LORD's, and I will sacrifice it as a burnt offering.Long story short, he beats the Ammonites. Jephthah apparently looked over the fact that when he returned home his daughter might run out of the house to meet him. Now he has made a deal with God to sacrifice his daughter as a burnt offering. Who said God didn't encourage child sacrifice?
He's going to find a loophole and get out of sacrificing his daughter right? Wrong. He gives her two months to wander the countryside and weep with her friends. Then he sacrifices her. God is silent on the matter.
Jephthah goes on to destroy the Ephriamites in chapter 12. Whenever they find an Ephriamite they ask him to pronounce the word "Shiboleth" if he can't, they kill him. I guess you just have to work on your Israeli accent to live.
This is silly news today, but it's too stupid not to write about.
The article is titled "Bruce Gradkowski: What The Bible Can Tell Us About His Future". My first reaction was who the hell is Bruce Gradkowski? He is the current Oakland Raiders quarterback. Oh no.
The article goes on to try to apply the story of Noah to the story of the Raiders quarterback. No, just say no. Bruce is the "dove" that Noah sent out. The Raiders win on November 22 was symbolic of Noah sending out the dove for the first time. Now Damali Binta YAEL (aka the idiot writing this article) thinks that they should send out Bruce two more times, just like Noah's dove.
Really Damali? Really? You're really going to try to apply the bible to sports? I certainly hope this is a joke article.
(via Bleacher Report [warning: link may contain stupid])