Friday, November 27, 2009

83: Delilah's Thongs

Judges 16-18
If anyone ties me with seven fresh thongs that have not been dried, I'll become as weak as any other man. - Judges 16:7

Samson goes to Gaza, where he finds a prostitute and goes to bed with her. The people of Gaza are somehow alerted that Samson is there and they want to kill him. They decide to wait till morning to try. Samson "lay there" in bed with the prostitute (sure he did) till the middle of the night. He then ripped up the city gate and carried it to the top of a hill. Did the people of Gaza ever look for him? Why did he have to rip up the city gate? We're never told.

Some time later (I love the unspecific time frame) he falls in love with another woman. The woman's name is Delilah. The Philistines go to Delilah and tell her to find the secret to Samson's power. Is he superman or something? Does he seriously have a secret weakness? If Samson's power is given by God, and a mortal can take it away if they find his secret weakness, then is God being a puppet here? A mortal decides whether God gives Samson power or not?

Delilah asks what his weakness is. Samson says that if he is tied up with fresh thongs that he will become weak. I think every man has that weakness. Before I get too ahead of myself, I'll remind you that a "thong" means a bowstring. So whenever I say "thong" make sure to think bowstring.

Let me start over. Samson's weakness is being tied up with fresh, wet thongs. The Philistines bring her some wet thongs (why are they wet?). Delilah apparently doesn't wear have any thongs. She then proceeds to tie him up. The bible doesn't say that Samson is asleep or in any way incapacitated, but for some reason he is letting Delilah tie him up. Once she is done, she tells Samson the Philistines are upon him and he snaps the thongs. What a liar! I thought lying was a sin, some prophet this is. I guess Samson just enjoys being tied up with thongs.

Samson continues this little game for awhile. Next time he tells Delilah that his weakness is being tied up with ropes. Again, this fails to work. He then tells her that if she ties him up with his own hair that he will become weak. Again, he breaks free effortlessly. Finally, he tells her (truthfully this time) that if she shaves his head he will become weak. This is so ridiculous. What does cutting his hair off have to do with God giving him powers? The excuse given in the bible is that Samson is a Nazarite, and Nazarites mustn't shave their heads. God can't see past the fact that someone else shaved his head and preserve his powers? One more thing, why would Samson actually give away his secret if he knew Delilah was working with the Philistines (it's pretty obvious at this point, the Philistines jump out right after he's tied up every time)?

The Philistines shave Samson's head. They finally capture him and gouge his eyes out. He spends time in a Philistine prison and his hair grows back. The Philistines, not realizing that if his hair grew back he would regain his strength, take him to their temple and make him perform for them. Samson asks to rest on the support pillars of the temple. With his regained strength he pulls the entire temple down on top of himself and all of the Philistines, killing everyone. God seems to have abandoned this prophet.

In chapter 17 we're introduced to a new character (prophet?) named Micah. Micah makes cast idols in his spare time. One day a Levite comes to his house and Micah tells him that he will pay him to be a priest. The Levite agrees.

Awhile later, some Danites come to Micah's house and ask his Levite priest if they will have a successful journey (they are looking for a place to settle for the Danites). The priest says God has blessed their journey.

The Danites end up stealing Micah's cast idol and his Levite priest. They then go on to destroy a peaceful villiage and claim it as their own. The way the bible words it seems to condemn what the Danites did. But isn't this the exact same thing the last generation of Israelites did with God's blessing? As a side note, the Levite said their journey would be successful; it was. So is this Levite really communicating with God as he says, or not? The bible makes no distinction between good and bad prophets.

I seriously hope the story of Micah has a point in the next chapters, otherwise it was a huge waste of time.

Ever have someone come to your door with a bible in hand? Well you might want to think twice about opening the door for them. A man posing as a bible salesman (aka a Mormon) forced his way into a woman's home. He reportedly threatened her with a knife and beat her with a frying pan.

The article never claims any intent to rob. Maybe he was just trying to forcibly imbue the holy spirit into her. She finally does what any reasonable person would do to someone trying to forcibly convert them, and maces him in the face.

I've never had anyone try to convert me via beating me with a frying pan before. I'm not sure if I'm willing to try that method.

(via WWAY News Channel 3)

1 comment:

  1. I don't think Samson is called a prophet in the bible.



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