Tuesday, December 29, 2009

115: Sins of the Father

2 Kings 12-14
Whenever they saw that there was a large amount of money in the chest, the royal secretary and the high priest came, counted the money that had been brought into the temple of the LORD and put it into bags. - 2 Kings 12:10

Joash tells his priest to start using the offering money they get to repair the temples. Around this time, Hazael, the current king of the Arameans, attacks Gath. Joash sends all of the gold and silver that he has received and sends it to Hazael. Hazael then retreats. Joash pays him off to leave.

Israel and Judah go through a few more kings before the section is done, and a few interesting things are sprinkled in the middle. First, Elisha dies. His last act is to have the king shoot a "victory arrow". Elisha tells the king to strike the ground. The king does this, but he only does it three times. This apparently means that he will only defeat his enemies three times. Thanks for the heads up Elisha, he would have hit the ground more if you'd told him to.

The last interesting thing is a reference to Deuteronomy. One of the kings is killing people for assisting in the assassination of his father. It specifically mentions that he doesn't kill sons if the father assisted in the assassination (a rule first set in Deuteronomy). Apparently this rule doesn't apply to God. God regularly punishes people to the third and fourth generation. Most recently, God killed Ahab's blood line for the sins of Ahab (but not Ahab himself). I guess we should do as God says, not as he does.

Weight Watchers, the Atkins diet, LA Weight Loss. These things may not help you lose weight, but the women of the Victory Assembly of God have found something that does. The bible.

“When I start craving bad foods, I know that's the devil coming around," says one of the members of the weight loss program. Yes, the devil is taking break from causing tsunamis and earth quakes and has decided to make you a fatty. Wait, I thought God did everything.

Another member says this:
Seek (God) first, and you'll fill up. You do not have to worry about what you eat. It's taken care of for you, if you would but listen to what your body's calling for.
Your stomach is really calling for a big serving of God when you get hungry? I've heard of eating Jesus (which totally isn't weird) but God? I guess if God is infinite, chopping off a little filet-o-god isn't too much to ask.

One more quote for the day:
[God] wants you to wait for your stomach to growl, and he wants you to stop when you're full. I was eating what I liked. Pizza, brownies, whatever. It was just a ton less.
God wants that? Did God tell you that? I guess it's possible that there was a lost commandment. Since she can make up what God wants, I may as well make up an 11th commandment. "Thou shall not stuff thy face with pizza, brownies, whatever, unless thine stomach doth grumble."

(via Chron)

1 comment:

  1. Hey if God wants to tell them to eat less brownies, I'm not going to complain. I wish I had someone other than me telling me when it was time to stop eating - especially during the holidays when the food is so good and there's so much of it. As it is I have to rely on my own damn self - not always the easiest challenge in the world.

    The Devil thing though - yeesh. Honestly - chalking up your desire to have an extra cookie to something being done to you by the LORD OF EVIL seems a bit silly and self-centered, doesn't it? I much prefer the theology of Christians who chalk stuff like that up to human nature than the ones who think that someone more evil than Dr. Doom, Sauron, Lord Voldemort and Hitler combined is involved in their poor eating choices.

    Of course if God starts branching out and telling them to do harmful things I'll start to worry. As we've seen here, the Bible has few cases of God telling people to put back that extra slice of pizza and quite a few cases of God telling people to go slaughter some group of people that He considers abominable. That's something to worry about...



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