Wednesday, December 9, 2009

95: Don't Kill the Messenger... or Do

2 Samuel 1-3
How the mighty have fallen in battle!
Jonathan lies slain on your heights.

I grieve for you, Jonathan my brother;
you were very dear to me.
Your love for me was wonderful,
more wonderful than that of women.
2 Samuel 1:25:26

David returns from defeating the Amalekites and finds a messenger waiting for him. The messenger tells David that Saul and Jonathan are dead. David doesn't believe him and asks him how he knows of Saul's death. The messenger says that he himself killed Saul.

I'll give the bible the benefit of the doubt and assume that this man is lying (the bible says in the last chapter, 1 Samuel 31, that Saul kills himself), so that this isn't an inconsistency. The big question is why would this messenger say that he killed Saul? It's the messenger's last mistake, because David has him killed for "destroying the Lord's anointed one".

David then mourns and makes everyone learn the "Lament of the Bow" a poem (song?) he writes about Jonathan and Saul. In the last part of the lament, David says that Jonathan's love was more wonderful than that of a woman (see the top of this post for the actual quote). Now, that's certainly not proof of homosexuality, but if it looks like a duck and quacks like a duck...

David is officially pronounced king over Judah. When does he get to be king over Israel? Is Israel not openly mocking God's command (namely that David become king)? I guess God doesn't stick up for himself anymore. God seems content in telling David where to go. From the terrifying God that kills everyone to a Lordly GPS that hardly does anything at all. I guess I'll take the latter.

Another king (a son of Saul) is appointed king over Israel. This begins a war between the house of David and the house of Saul. During this war, Abner, one of the leader's of Saul's army, decides to make a deal with David (David had been defeating their forces). David says that he will not negotiate unless Abner brings back his third wife, the one that Saul had given away. Abner agrees and drags David's wife away from her sobbing husband (she had remarried).

As soon as Abner leaves, Joel (one of the leaders of David's army), kills him to revenge the death of his brother. This killing is called "murder". But wait, I thought revenge killing was acceptable. What happened to "an eye for an eye"? David is so upset with this that he, Joab, and his subjects are told to tear their clothes and mourn for the dead Abner.

The Canadian human rights tribunal has received a complaint. A Canadian elementary school won't allow him to hold a bible study during lunch hour.

Oh no! He's going to have to wait two, maybe even three hours to indoctrinate his kids at home! What a travesty. Is it really necessary to have any sort of study during lunch hour? I thought lunch hour was for eating lunch (shocking, I know).

The Canadian tribunal has not yet decided whether this even warrants an investigation.

(via The Vancouver Sun)
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