Thursday, December 10, 2009

96: God's Back... And He's Killing Again

2 Samuel 4-7
So David gave an order to his men, and they killed them. They cut off their hands and feet and hung the bodies by the pool in Hebron. - 2 Samuel 4:12

Ish-Boseth, the current king of Israel, is assassinated by two leaders in his army. The killers, thinking David will be happy with him, take the head of Ish-Boseth and present it to David. Unfortunately for these messengers, David is not pleased. He has them killed, chops off their hands and feet, and has them hung from a tree. The moral of this story? Don't piss off David.

Finally, after the death of Ish-Boseth, David becomes king of Israel. What took so long? David then proceeds to conquer Jerusalem and defeat the Philistines (again).

David decides to bring the ark to Jerusalem. While the ark is in transit, the oxen carrying it stumble. Uzzah, one of the men attending the ark, grabs hold of it so that it will not fall. God sees this as an "irreverent act" and kills him on the spot. What? Finally God returns, and what does he do? Kills a random guy for trying to save his silly box.

David hears that Uzzah got killed for something stupid and he becomes afraid of the ark (good call David). Instead of bringing the ark directly to himself he sends it to another family to test it out and see if God is going to continue killing people. It turns out that the house the ark gets sent to becomes prosperous, so David decides that it is safe to bring the ark to himself.

While the ark is being brought to him, David dances and leaps with all his might. I guess this is to impress God? Right, I'm sure a man making a fool of himself impresses God. David's wife (one of his many wives now) sees him and hates him because he is making a fool of himself.

David says that he wants to build a house for the ark instead of the tabernacle (a tent). God comes to another prophet and tells David (through the other prophet) that God himself will build a house. Why can't God speak directly to David anymore?

To finish out the chapter David prays to God.

More (not) war on Christmas.

A non-binding resolution (aka, a useless piece of paper) has been introduced into congress that would "make it clear" that the founders of the United States had no intention of banning mention of Christmas. Why does this resolution not mention other holidays? Congress only wishes to express that "Christmas" should not be banned? It's perfectly ok if we don't allow people to say happy Hanukkah apparently.

Harry Brown (the congressman who introduced the resolution) had this to say:
I believe it is important to preserve the right for everyone to worship as they believe. As a Christian, I feel it is also important that I have the right to celebrate Christmas and observe its significance as a national holiday and I strongly believe that wishing someone "Merry Christmas" should never be met with disapproval.
Harry, I disapprove of you saying "Merry Christmas" to a Jewish person.

(via CBS News)

1 comment:

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