Friday, February 19, 2010

167: God Will Love You... If You Agree With Me

Psalms 17-20
In the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun - Psalm 19:4

All the Psalms today are again from David.

Psalm 17: David prays to God for God's love. He again says the wicked (aka, anyone that's not David) are evil and deserve God's wrath.

Psalm 18: God is a rock (in that he's inanimate?). David spends the first part of the chapter describing how God rained down fire from the sky. He finishes out by saying how God is perfect and wonderful (again).

Psalm 19: God "pitches a tent" for the sun in heaven. I don't know what this means, so I will assume God meant it to sound dirty to American ears. There's not really anything else of interest in this chapter.

Psalm 20: David prays that righteous people will get God's protection.

Psalm 23 is tomorrow! At least that won't be terribly unexciting.

A youth pastor decided to have a bible study in his hot tub. The trick? You had to be naked, and masturbate away your lust.

This is the official report:
Between 2005 and 2008, Pete Newman became a close friend of his by attending family dinners, sleepovers, bible studies, taking vacations together and writing letters. Pete would hold one-on-one sessions with (the boy) in Pete's hot tub (at Pete's residence) and would request they be naked. Pete would discuss life's struggles with (him) and talk about masturbation. Pete would explain that if (the boy) would masturbate with him in his hot tub then there would be no lust and therefore (the boy) would not be sinning.
Jesus Christ. How about nobody trust random men with spending alone time with your children. Just seems like a bad idea in general.

I'm going to publish before I pass out from tiredness. You can read the rest of the story/analysis at The Turner Report.

1 comment:

  1. Sweet holy crap,

    Did you find possibly the most modern-spun sexually suggestive quote as to God's sexual orientation?

    "in the heavens he has pitched a tent for the sun"

    Maybe God is like a screamapillar

    (And if you don't get this reference, please look it up. So many levels, so many places you could go with this...)



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