Wednesday, March 17, 2010

193: Every Star Has A Name & Psalms: In Review

Psalms 146-150
He determines the number of the stars and calls them each by name. - Psalm 147:4

All the psalms today are anonymous.

Psalm 146: God is wonderful. Don't trust anyone but God. So don't trust anyone, ever.

Psalm 147: God has actually named every star. Which is quite a task, considering there is around a septillion stars in the universe. Anonymous goes on to say that God hurls down hail like pebbles and no one can withstand his icy blast. Great guy.

Psalm 148: This psalm says "praise" 13 times. There are 14 verses. In conclusion, this psalm really, really wants you to praise God.

Psalm 149: Praise God, again. Why are all of these anonymous psalms so pointless?

Psalm 150: This chapter says praise in every single line of the psalm. It just lists a bunch of ways to praise God.

Psalms: In Review

I've decided there are three types of Psalm:

1. God is great, praise him.

2. God is terrible, he's invisible, vengeful, and refuses to help people.

3. (Mostly David) God, please kill my enemies.

If you can find a psalm that isn't one, or a combination of these three types, I'll give you a gold star.

In general, the psalms were pretty boring and pointless.

Do you really love Star Wars? Well you may want to join the Jedi Church.

One of the Jedi Church flock was kicked out of a job center recently for refusing to put his hood down. He has since received a formal apology from the job center. In their letter, they said "We are committed to provide a customer service which embraces diversity and respects customers' religion." Really? You're committed to protecting even the most ridiculous of religions. So can I make up a religion that requires me to be drunk at all times? Do you have to respect that too? I'll assume this means you have to respect the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster. Therefore every Friday is a holiday!

P.S. I think we know now why this guy was in a job center to start with.

(via Fox News)

1 comment:

  1. I'll give you a gold star if you can read 1 Psalm a day for a year and post your thoughts on them every time. Maybe you can do that next year.



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