Sunday, March 21, 2010

197: Malicious Winks

Proverbs 10-12
He who winks maliciously causes grief, and a chattering fool comes to ruin. - Proverbs 10:10

This section is labeled "Proverbs of Solomon". I guess the other Proverbs must have been written by David, but the bible never specifies. This entire section seems to be a list of two line proverbs. I'm just going to pick and choose which one's I find interesting, because I can't possibly list them all.

I'll begin with "A wise son brings joy to his father, but a foolish son grief to his mother". Way to start out with a proverb that doesn't make any sense, Solomon. Does a wise son not also bring joy to his mother? Does a foolish son not also bring grief to his father? I'm not sure what point Solomon is trying to make.

"The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry but he thwarts the craving of the wicked." This one really doesn't make any sense. He doesn't let good people go hungry. That part is fine. But he thwarts the cravings of the wicked. Unless the bible is using some definition of "thwart" that I don't know about, this means that God doesn't let the wicked go hungry either. So this really reads "God doesn't let the righteous go hungry, but he doesn't let the wicked go hungry." If someone has an explanation for this, have at it.

This one is just silly "He who winks maliciously causes grief, and a chattering fool comes to ruin." First of all, these two lines have nothing to do with each other as far as I can tell. Second, is malicious winking a huge problem in biblical times? I've personally never felt the wrath of a malicious wink.

"He who conceals his hatred has lying lips, and whoever spreads slander is a fool." So if you conceal your hatred, you're a liar. But of you reveal your hatred, which generally results in spreading slander, you're a fool. You're either a liar or a fool, pick one.

"When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." Hmm, what's one thing I can think of that has a lot of words? Books! And what's one of the biggest books? The bible! And Solomon tells us that where ever there are a lot of words there is sin, therefore, the bible is sin. Not to mention that Solomon is a bit of a talker himself.

"When the storm has swept by, the wicked are gone, but the righteous stand firm forever." This shines some light on Pat Robertson's comments on Katrina.

"Wealth is worthless in the day of wrath, but righteousness delivers from death." Then why are Republicans so concerned with money? This has been on my mind today, because of the health care reform vote. All of the Republicans are screaming "how are we going to pay for this?!", but shouldn't they be more concerned with helping people (being righteous) rather than how much wealth they are going to need?

"Like a gold ring in a pig's snout is a beautiful woman who shows no discretion." Wait, what? Easy women are like pigs?

"Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates correction is stupid." Tell us how you really feel Solomon. If you've ever felt bad about getting discipline, you're stupid. Congratulations, the bible has just called everyone in existence stupid.

"Better to be a nobody and yet have a servant than pretend to be somebody and have no food." Some of these sayings are just ridiculous. What do servants and food have to do with each other? Why is having a servant a virtue?

"A fool shows his annoyance at once, but a prudent man overlooks an insult. " In the name of fairness, I thought I'd include a proverb that I agree with.

"There is deceit in the hearts of those who plot evil, but joy for those who promote peace." So anyone who doesn't promote peace is evil. Therefore, George Bush is evil. But we knew that already.

Can you break concrete blocks? Can you snap a baseball bat in half? Well then you might be a Christian hero!

Mike Benson and his friends have been going around the country, performing feats of strength. What does this have to do with Christianity? Well, I don't really know. They say that this is to show that Christians don't have to be wimpy. I didn't know that stereotype existed.

"In one dramatic act, a hulking man snaps a baseball bat in half and then places the two pieces together in the shape of a cross as the crowd roars."

Congratulations, you can break something. I think you're time would be better spent preaching, if that's what you're trying to do. I'm not sure why you need gimmicks to make people believe in Jesus.

Yes, this is another slow news day.

(via Freep)


  1. Isn't this the same as the whole divine strength thing, where Pat Robertson lifted a ton?

  2. I think Pat Robertson fake leg-lifted a ton. But I'm not sure if that has anything to do with Jesus either.

  3. The Lord does not let the righteous go hungry...

    The stupid, oh, it burns.

  4. "[H]e thwarts the craving of the wicked" means that God prevents the wicked from getting what they want.

    Except when he doesn't on every other page of the bible.

  5. There is a proverbs that says we will reap the fruit of lips and another that says God is not mocked.



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