Tuesday, March 23, 2010

199: You Winking Pervert

Proverbs 16-18
He who winks with his eye is plotting perversity; he who purses his lips is bent on evil. - Proverbs 16:30

More two liners today.

"Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and your plans will succeed." Is that a promise? I think a lot of people commit what they do to God, and it doesn't always work out.

"Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for; through the fear of the Lord a man avoids evil." So we have to love, and fear God at the same time? I have a hard time loving something I'm terrified of.

"When a king's face brightens, it means life; his favor is like a rain cloud in spring." Says the king of Israel. We might have a bit of a biased opinion of kings here.

Before I go on to the next one, I thought I'd mention that Solomon is starting to repeat word for word a lot of these one liners. I just wanted you to feel my pain. Moving on.

"He who winks with his eye is plotting perversity; he who purses his lips is bent on evil." This is a bit of a repeat, but it's just too hilarious to pass up. I can attest that I have never winked at anyone with thoughts of perversity. I'm fairly certain that nobody thinks of a wink as sexual any more. The only time I've ever winked at someone was to make them go along with a joke I was playing on someone. Also, I'm sure that nobody in the last 2000 years has pursed their lips when they were bent on evil. Worst. Supervillain. Ever. Way to be culturally irrelevant, bible.

"Gray hair is a crown of splendor; it is attained by a righteous life." I'll use this when I want to suck up to my parents.

"The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord." When you go to the casino, God wants the house to win.

"If a man pays back evil for good, evil will never leave his house." I realize I'm getting a little ahead of myself here, but what happened to "turn the other cheek"? Solomon is saying you must repay evil with evil? No forgiveness there.

"A fool's lips bring him strife, and his mouth invites a beating." I guess Solomon beats up stupid people in his spare time. Nice guy.

"The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit." I've never heard of the much sought after tongue-fruit. I certainly hope this is a metaphor (albeit a weird one).

*News*
The small Seattle suburb of Renton, Washington has organized a group of "prayer warriors". What is the demon they fight? The dreaded incoming strip club!

"When we allow something like this into our city, we're basically saying women can be objectified; they're pieces of meet to be looked at", said one of the warriors. First I have to applaud the editor of this local Seattle newspaper, that would be "meat" not "meet". I don't think that one strip club in a town reflects the opinion of the entire town. What does a strip club need to stay open, 100 people a night? That's about 1/10th of one percent of the towns population. Not to mention that nobody is being forced to be a patron of the strip club, or work at the strip club.

But here's the best quote of the night "If you put temptation in front of people, it's easier for them to give in to that temptation." Yes, because I'm sure those men never have temptations to see naked women without a strip club in town. Obviously if your town is as pure as you think, the strip club will promptly go out of business.

(via Seattle PI)

6 comments:

  1. Man, this blog is a hoot. No idea how I found it but glad I did.
    Check out my dating disasters:
    *Plentymorefishoutofwater - One Man's Dating Diary*

    ReplyDelete
  2. "If a man pays back evil for good, evil will never leave his house." I realize I'm getting a little ahead of myself here, but what happened to "turn the other cheek"? Solomon is saying you must repay evil with evil? No forgiveness there.

    I think what this proverb suggests is that you should not pay back good WITH evil. Wow - I never thought I'd be defending the word of the Bible, but this proverb certainly isn't one of the more ridiculous ones.

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  3. Good point, Ally!

    As to the evil, I think I would agree that pursed lips aren't the mark of the devil.

    But, beware the shifty-eyes. Now that's evil:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T55ArHjeR1c

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  4. Greetings Bryan!
    This is the first time I've been to your blog. If I was to judge a book by it's cover...
    These comments are about three thousand miles wide, and an inch deep! About what you'd get in most church's (or an A.A. meeting) today!
    Shallow!
    At this point, it's obvious that you know nothing of the bible. You’re probably a product of one of the above mentioned churches, which is a sad commentary of the church today. With that said, I'll look through some of your other post's to see if any of the "mean" things you have to say are worth responding to.
    If I could make a suggestion?
    Instead of just throwing out a proverb etc... And just commenting on it w/o any reference to it's context or genre & etc... Perhaps you could do a little homework? Why not go to say... www.monergism.com and pick out a good "Reformed" commentary on, say... a particular proverb, our passage that you would like to refute, then, come back and destroy the Christian faith, like so many of your intellectual ilk have been trying to do for centuries? (Just a suggestion?)
    With that said....
    I personally don't argue for the existence of God to atheists. “You already know” that He exists! (Romans 1). So, you being the intellectual dynamo that you are, you know it w/b foolish of me to waste my time trying to prove something you already know, Right?
    And, because you know this, and continue in your rebellion, this makes you a "Fool" same chapter Romans 1. (Just because one is a fool, does not mean one is not intelligent)
    So, the real question is this... Why are you continuing to suppress the truth about God, and wanting to face His wrath in judgment?
    God has given us a way to save us from Himself, only in the person of Jesus Christ, and you are ignoring it! Also, the more you know about what the Bible teaches, the greater the judgment against you will be! In a sense, ignorance is, well… not bliss in this case, but less judgment! This is taught in the Bible as well.
    You just keep your mind occupied w/little trifles, like... blogging & etc... like God doesn't exist, in a futile attempt thinking that this bad dream will just go away? Like the child who covers eye's and thinks he/she is invisible.
    Repent Bryan!

    The fact that Christians are warning you, is God’s grace and warning of the wrath to come!

    Lamont.

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  5. Yes, some of my comments are shallow, generally for comedic effect. However, glancing over this post (which you say is all you've read) I would certainly not categorize my comments on the first two proverbs as "shallow".

    You are correct in saying I know nothing of the bible (except for what I've read), that's kind of the point.

    I am a product of no church.

    Thanks, but I have enough homework as it is. And this is a commentary on the bible, so reading a commentary to make my commentary kind of defeats the purpose. You also make the incorrect assertion that I'm trying to "refute" these proverbs.

    I certainly hope the Christian faith isn't so fragile that one lonely little atheist could destroy it.

    Atheists already know that God exists? How so? You're very flattering in calling me an intellectual dynamo, but that is certainly not how I'd categorize myself. I'm just a guy that's reading the bible and saying what I think about it.

    Why does God need to save us from himself? Can't he just, you know, not kill us because he doesn't want to?

    I will repent when I'm convinced there is someone to repent to.

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  6. Bravo, Bryan!!!

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