Thursday, March 25, 2010

201: Adulterers Will Eat You

Proverbs 22-23
"The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; he who is under the Lord's wrath will fall into it." - Proverbs 22:15

There is a mix of two liners and paragraphs today.

"The sluggard says, 'There is a lion outside!' or, 'I will be murdered in the streets!' " Huh? I hope if there is a lion outside the righteous don't refrain from telling people, lest they be accused of being a sluggard.

"The mouth of an adulteress is a deep pit; he who is under the Lord's wrath will fall into it." If you are naughty, God is going to make a giant adulteress eat you. Or is that a metaphor for having sex with you? Wait, God is going to make me have sex with an adulteress if I'm bad? My moral compass is spinning out of control.

"When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what is before you, and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony." If you ever find yourself eating too much, kill yourself. The bible is so inspiring.

"Do not speak to a fool, for he will scorn the wisdom of your words." It's too bad that both sides of an argument generally regard the other side as "fools", so neither side ever talks to each other. Thanks bible.

I sorta, kinda promised I would never mention Tim Tebow in this blog again, but I have to break that promise due to lack of anything else interesting happening.

As most of you probably don't know (or care) Tim Tebow is trying to join the NFL. All new recruits to the NFL have to take the "wonderlic" test, which is just a standardized test to make sure you're not a complete idiot before you go tackle people.

Tim Tebow, being the good Christian that he is, decided to stop everyone before they took the test, and request that they all join him in prayer. The thing that makes this newsworthy is that this request was greeted with "Shut the fuck up" by one of Tebow's fellow recruits. Whoever it was, they can rest assured that they're not the only one who's wanted to say that to Tim Tebow (though I seem to be less offended by his existence than most).

Moral of the story: Keep your prayers to yourself. If other people really want to pray, they don't need your reminder.


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