Friday, March 26, 2010

202: The Bible on Dog Vomit

Proverbs 24-26
"As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly." - Proverbs 26:11

And still more two liners, only a couple more days of Proverbs.

"An honest answer is like a kiss on the lips." Unless your girlfriend asks "Do I look fat in this?" Then an honest answer might be like a punch in the face (or never having sex again).

"Finish your outdoor work and get your fields ready; after that, build your house." Right, because building a shelter isn't the first thing you do in a survival situation.

"A little sleep, a little slumber, a little folding of the hands to rest - and poverty will come on you like a bandit and scarcity like an armed man." What is Solomon's problem with sleep? He goes so far as to say you can't even have a little sleep, or you will go poor. I think your quality of work is going to start suffering if you don't have any sleep. That's not to mention that Solomon is the king, so he probably doesn't have to worry about working at all.

"If your enemy is hungry, give him food to eat; if he is thirsty, give him water to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head, and the Lord will reward you." How is giving someone food and water like putting hot coals on their head? Unless you're supposed to feed him, then actually pour coals on his head.

"As a dog returns to its vomit, so a fool repeats his folly." The next time someone tells you the bible has beautiful imagery, remind them that Proverbs 26:11 also has imagery of dogs eating their own vomit.

"The sluggard says, 'There is a lion in the road, a fierce lion roaming the streets!' " What does Solomon have against sluggards warning people of lions? This is the second day in a row he's mentioned it.

"If a man digs a pit, he will fall into it; if a man rolls a stone, it will roll back on him." Moral of the story: Don't roll rocks or dig pits? I feel like there's some wonderful metaphor I'm missing here.

*News*
It's Easter time, and apparently everyone is losing their faith. Not to worry though, Jeffrey MacDonald is here to save you!

Jeff shows us how to look past evidence against us:
Vanderbilt University student Katherine Precht knows what skeptical scholars say about the Bible: It's full of errors, contradictions and a murky historical record.

Still, none of that has shaken her Christian faith.
Well, maybe she just thinks that those scholars are incorrect, and thinks that the bible has no contradictions.
“Sure, there may be contradictions, (but) God was working through the scribes who put it together,” said Precht, a United Methodist from Montgomery, Ala.
Oh, so you know there are contradictions, and you just blindly ignore them. Awesome. Unfortunately, she's not the only one that uses this method:
Some scholars “get fixated on some of the marginal issues about who was where and when,” said Craig Evans, professor of New Testament at Acadia Divinity College in Nova Scotia. [emphasis is mine]
Oh, right. That silly little detail about who, where, and when. Are you kidding me? Who, where, and when are the least "marginal" details I can think of.
In the Gospels, “the discrepant witnesses are allowed to stand side by side, and I think that's a strength in the end, not a weakness. But the naive reader — the person beguiled by the notion that discrepancies somehow cast doubt on the truth of the entire report — might not know that,” Evans said.
I'm a naive reader because I think the all perfect word of God shouldn't have discrepancies? And yes, I think if there are several parts of an account that are found to be false, then the whole account is in question. No matter what you think about biblical discrepancies, I don't think I've heard anyone describe it as a "strength".
"The inerrancy of the Bible is evidenced in the fact that it is the most transformative piece of literature that's ever been written,” Stegall said. “It transforms people's lives in a way that nothing else can come close to.”
Mein Kampf and the Communist Manifesto are transformative pieces of literature too, but I'd be hard pressed to find a Republican that will agree that those two books are inerrant. You can't claim that something is inerrant just because it has the ability to change people's lives.

(via Houston Belief)

2 comments:

  1. Not to stir up the grumbles at all here, but...

    "Finish your outdoor work and get your fields ready; after that, build your house." Right, because building a shelter isn't the first thing you do in a survival situation.

    According to some models of need, food comes before shelter in terms of survival. And we're talking here about people that might have been accustomed to living temporarily in caves.

    Also,

    "Are you kidding me? Who, where, and when are the least "marginal" details I can think of."

    Personally, I've always been much more interested in how and why. The who, where, and when are, um, the more temporal details. Not that I would claim the text in review is hitting the mark on any of the five... once again, I'm just saying...

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  2. The whole "If a man digs a pit, he will fall into it; if a man rolls a stone, it will roll back on him." thing looks a lot like a Dutch saying which goes something like "He who digs a pit for someone else will fall into it himself" so I think it just means that you shouldn't try to hurt others.

    Or roll stones.

    ReplyDelete

 

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