Sunday, April 4, 2010

211: God is Going to Make You Eat Babies, Again

Isaiah 9-12
"On the right they will devour, but still be hungry; on the left they will eat, but not be satisfied. Each will feed on the flesh of his own offspring" - Isaiah 9:20

Isaiah 9 holds another passage that is attributed as a prophecy of Jesus. Again, it doesn't quite fit:
For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.

Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David's throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this. [Isaiah 9:6-7]
The names seem to be accurate, but that's about it. Now, I have a disclaimer here. I've never read the New Testament (that's the point of this blog) so I don't profess to know everything there is to know about Jesus, but I think I have the general idea.

The "government" was certainly not on the shoulders of Jesus. And there is no "Jesus government" that I know of. Jesus wasn't a king, and therefore did not "reign on David's throne", much less "from that time on and forever". If anything, the similarity in name seems to be the gospel trying to fit the prophecy (or I daresay, the man trying to fit the prophecy).

The rest of chapter 9 talks about the anger of God against Israel. God says that he is going to cut of the head and tail of Israel, and he wont take pity on the fatherless or widows. God's wrath will be so terrible that parents will eat their children.

Chapter 10 is about God's anger against Assyria. God used Assyria to destroy Israel. Unfortunately for the Assyrians, they thought they did it all by themselves, so they bragged about how great they were for destroying Israel. God doesn't appreciate people that don't believe in him bragging about things he's used them to do, so he sends a wasting disease that kills them.

The entirety of chapter 11 are prophecies that have never come true. Among these, God says that "the wolf will live with the lamb," and, "the leopard will lie down with the goat." I guess this means to say that all predatory animals will stop eating prey? This has certainly not happened yet. Also, little kids will be able to play near cobra's nests, and put their hands in viper pits without being harmed. I'm fairly certain that's still a bad idea.

One of the last prophecies is that the Euphrates river will become seven streams that are so shallow that people can walk over them. As far as I know, the Euphrates is still one big river.

All of chapter 12 is a song of praise. I'll spare you, I think you've heard enough songs of praise in Psalms.

This is officially the strangest Easter story I've seen, so I thought I'd share it with you. Cosmo Cavallaro has made a life sized, nude, chocolate Jesus, so people can learn about the sweetness of the body of Christ (by tasting him presumably). That's strange enough as it is, but it turns out that he's the sane one (in comparison with Bill Donohue of the Catholic league).

Their clash on Anderson Cooper 360 is priceless (and involves Donohue implying that Cosmo's head would be removed if Donohue was a member of the Taliban):

I personally think the Eucharist would be much better dipped in chocolate. Just an idea.

(via Reddit)


  1. Atheists


    you little liars do nothing but antagonize…

    and you try to eliminate all the dreams and hopes of humanity…

    but you LOST…


    Einstein puts the final nail in the coffin of atheism…



    atheists deny their own life element…



  2. A former Jesuit by the name of Peter de Rosa wrote a book called "Vicars of Christ" - a kind of history of the mistakes and corruption of the papacy. Anyway, in the introduction he talks in great length about how Jesus was always spared some modesty in the art-world, he was way too often given a cloth over his junk (which may or may not be historically accurate). De Rosa thinks this was one of the greatest mistakes of Christianity, because if Jesus was allowed to let it all hang out then there would be at least some visual reminder that he was a Jewish boy. OH, he had a crown all right.

    So, Cosmo here is maybe just doing a service to Christians, reminding them that J-rock had a circumcised penis. And in using chocolate, maybe we finally have a chance at getting the skin-color a little more accurate now...

    [btw, did want to say I'm sorry I followed up on the spammer on April 1st there. I should have just left well enough alone. Lesson learned, lesson learned.]

  3. thanks again for your daily efforts and commitment- I read every post and appreciate them! The news items are often things I would not be able to find out here on the other side of the world (dubai) :-)

  4. "If anything, the similarity in name seems to be the gospel trying to fit the prophecy (or I daresay, the man trying to fit the prophecy)."

    Actually, in the Gospels, Jesus is explicitly depicted as doing this intentionally to fulfill OT prophecies. But your first suspicion appears to be the correct one. The Gospel accounts, especially the Passion narrative, were constructed out of fragments of the OT that were taken as prophecies (regardless of whether they were really intended to be so).



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