"On the right they will devour, but still be hungry; on the left they will eat, but not be satisfied. Each will feed on the flesh of his own offspring" - Isaiah 9:20
Isaiah 9 holds another passage that is attributed as a prophecy of Jesus. Again, it doesn't quite fit:
For to us a child is born,The names seem to be accurate, but that's about it. Now, I have a disclaimer here. I've never read the New Testament (that's the point of this blog) so I don't profess to know everything there is to know about Jesus, but I think I have the general idea.
to us a son is given,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and peace
there will be no end.
He will reign on David's throne
and over his kingdom,
establishing and upholding it
with justice and righteousness
from that time on and forever.
The zeal of the LORD Almighty
will accomplish this. [Isaiah 9:6-7]
The "government" was certainly not on the shoulders of Jesus. And there is no "Jesus government" that I know of. Jesus wasn't a king, and therefore did not "reign on David's throne", much less "from that time on and forever". If anything, the similarity in name seems to be the gospel trying to fit the prophecy (or I daresay, the man trying to fit the prophecy).
The rest of chapter 9 talks about the anger of God against Israel. God says that he is going to cut of the head and tail of Israel, and he wont take pity on the fatherless or widows. God's wrath will be so terrible that parents will eat their children.
Chapter 10 is about God's anger against Assyria. God used Assyria to destroy Israel. Unfortunately for the Assyrians, they thought they did it all by themselves, so they bragged about how great they were for destroying Israel. God doesn't appreciate people that don't believe in him bragging about things he's used them to do, so he sends a wasting disease that kills them.
The entirety of chapter 11 are prophecies that have never come true. Among these, God says that "the wolf will live with the lamb," and, "the leopard will lie down with the goat." I guess this means to say that all predatory animals will stop eating prey? This has certainly not happened yet. Also, little kids will be able to play near cobra's nests, and put their hands in viper pits without being harmed. I'm fairly certain that's still a bad idea.
One of the last prophecies is that the Euphrates river will become seven streams that are so shallow that people can walk over them. As far as I know, the Euphrates is still one big river.
All of chapter 12 is a song of praise. I'll spare you, I think you've heard enough songs of praise in Psalms.
This is officially the strangest Easter story I've seen, so I thought I'd share it with you. Cosmo Cavallaro has made a life sized, nude, chocolate Jesus, so people can learn about the sweetness of the body of Christ (by tasting him presumably). That's strange enough as it is, but it turns out that he's the sane one (in comparison with Bill Donohue of the Catholic league).
Their clash on Anderson Cooper 360 is priceless (and involves Donohue implying that Cosmo's head would be removed if Donohue was a member of the Taliban):
I personally think the Eucharist would be much better dipped in chocolate. Just an idea.