Tuesday, April 6, 2010

213: The Worst Punishment of All: Nudity!

Isaiah 18-22
"So the king of Assyria will lead away stripped and barefoot the Egyptian captives and Cushite exiles, young and old, with buttocks bared" - Isaiah 20:4

We have yet another day of prophecies against the people of the ancient world.

First to the chopping block is Cush. God refers to Cush as the "land of whirring wings". This "prophecy against Cush" (the title of the section) turns out not to be much of a prophecy against them, all God says is "I will remain quiet and will look on from my dwelling place, like shimmering heat in the sunshine, like a cloud of dew in the heat of harvest." I guess God's taking it easy on the whole fire and brimstone thing.

Next is a prophecy about Egypt (says the title of the chapter again). This really turns out to be a prophecy against Egypt. Did the writers of the NIV bible not actually read the chapter? God says that he is going to send a cruel ruler to Egypt, their rivers will dry up, and there will be no farming. How is this a prophecy about Egypt instead of against them?

The next prophecy is a prophecy against Egypt and Cush. Again, the writers seem to have the meanings of "against" and "about" mixed up. God tells Isaiah to go barefoot for three years. This is going to be a sign that Assyria will strip the Egyptians, and Cushite exiles barefoot. The Assyrians will then bear the buttocks of the Egyptians and the Cushites. This is supposed to make all the people that see it scream in fear and say "How then can we escape?" Really? God generally kills people and/or starves them and nobody cares, but rip off someone's pants and everyone is going to scream in fear? The bible makes so much sense.

Finally, we have a prophecy against the Babylons that actually seems bad. An oracle says that an invader will come from the desert and destroy the Babylonians. Strangely, we don't get the normal gory descriptions of how the Babylonians will be destroyed.

Next is a prophecy against Edom and Arabia. Unfortunately, I can't make sense of either of them. If you can figure out what they mean (link here) then let me know.

Finally, we have a prophecy about Jerusalem (which, again, seems like a prophecy against Jerusalem). These prophecies are terribly cryptic, but I'm sure they could be made to say just about anything. All I'm getting out of this prophecy is that the people of Jerusalem have about one day to live.

*News*
People have been looking for proof of Jesus for thousands of years. We thought we'd never find it, but Charles Markowitz has finally, unequivocally proved the existence of Jesus.

He starts out strong:
It would be impossible, not improbable but impossible, for a holy and righteous God to reveal himself to one race of people (Jews), with one name (Jehovah), with one doctrine (love your enemies), and then reveal himself to another race of people (Arabs), by another name (Allah), with another doctrine (kill ‘em if you can’t convert ‘em), and create all the mayhem and confusion we see taking place today.
Right, because as we've learned in today's section, the God of the Christian bible never kills people, or has them killed. He unfortunately continues:
Here’s something else to chew on. The Christian Bible has a 100 percent accuracy rate. No other book on this third rock from the sun can compete with it. Not one prophecy (foretelling future events) missed. There’s some that are still yet to come (Revelations) but there’s none that was predicted that came out wrong. As a matter of fact, Jesus’ birthplace was predicted. No other leader of any other faith can claim the same. And there are many other prophecies that came to pass exactly as they were predicted. Not one missed.
Ok, here's the logic. All the prophecies that didn't happen, just haven't happened yet. All the prophecies that can be made to fit something (they've had 2000+ years to happen by chance) have happened perfectly! 100% accuracy! I think my brain cells are dying as I read this article. I know these quotes are long, but this is my favorite:
By the way, science also blows the “theory” of evolution out of the water in the fact that science “proves” that 23 chromosomes are needed from each host (male/female) in order for human life to continue replicating. All normal human cells contain 43 chromosomes (23 pairs). It is only the male cell (sperm) and the female cell (egg) that contain only 23, but when conception takes place and life starts, the cell divides and from there on out all the other cells will contain the 46 chromosomes (23 pairs). Only by special creation can the first two humans happen. Common sense also shows that evolution is impossible because the first mammal that appeared would have died before its mate of the opposite gender appeared. It would have to be the same animal and have to be the opposite gender and then of course happen a thousand times over for each species. So that right there answers the question of which came first, the chicken or the egg. Obviously it was special creation, the special creation taught about in the Christian Bible.
Right, because the theory of evolution says that mammals spontaneously form in one generation out of lower lifeforms. I would be more harsh with this guy, but this argument is straight from the lips of Ray Comfort. This man's only crime is hopping on the stupid bandwagon.

He concludes with the nail in the coffin of atheism (to coin a phrase):
There is just so much proof of the existence of Jesus the Christ it’s not funny
He didn't get around to actually giving any of that proof, but close enough. Case closed!

If you enjoy self torture, I encourage you to read the rest of the article, I had to leave out loads of fundie illogic.

(via The Times and Democrat)

13 comments:

  1. Atheists,

    GET OUT OF MY UNIVERSE


    you little liars do nothing but antagonize...

    and you try to eliminate all the dreams and hopes of humanity...


    but you LOST...



    THE DEATH OF ATH*ISM - SCIENTIFIC PROOF OF GOD


    http://engforum.pravda.ru/showthread.php?t=280780




    Einstein puts the final nail in the coffin of atheism...


    *************************************

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7vpw4AH8QQ

    *************************************



    atheists deny their own life element...




    LIGHT OR DEATH, ATHEISTS?

    ********************************
    ***************************LIGHT*********
    ************************************

    ReplyDelete
  2. Oh Gods... That article was amusing.
    This blog is excellent.


    @DM
    Atheists deny their own life element? Do explain.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Awesome Blog overhaul!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Gotta be honest, liked the previous layout better, was much more stylish.
    Either way, impressed you still read everyday :P
    Keep up the good work!

    ReplyDelete
  5. see -- light is DIVINE....


    Atheists,

    GET OUT OF MY UNIVERSE


    you little liars do nothing but antagonize...

    and you try to eliminate all the dreams and hopes of humanity...


    but you LOST...



    THE DEATH OF ATH*ISM - SCIENTIFIC PROOF OF GOD


    http://engforum.pravda.ru/showthread.php?t=280780




    Einstein puts the final nail in the coffin of atheism...


    *************************************

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7vpw4AH8QQ

    *************************************



    atheists deny their own life element...




    LIGHT OR DEATH, ATHEISTS?

    ********************************
    ***************************LIGHT*********
    ************************************

    ReplyDelete
  6. Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.
    Albert Einstein,(1879 - 1955)

    ReplyDelete
  7. I like the new layout! The other one hurt my eyes.

    ReplyDelete
  8. atheist warfare:


    target each and every single atheist individually to crush the movement....


    DM

    (2010)

    ReplyDelete
  9. Wow, DM. You said something different. Did it hurt?

    ReplyDelete
  10. One more time:

    *******
    http://abcnews.go.com/Nightline/FaceOff/
    ********

    THE REAL QUESTION:


    DOES ATHEISM HAVE A FUTURE?

    AND THE ANSWER - NO!


    Atheists

    GET OUT OF MY UNIVERSE…

    you little liars do nothing but antagonize…

    and you try to eliminate all the dreams and hopes of humanity…

    but you LOST…

    THE DEATH OF ATH*ISM - SCIENTIFIC PROOF OF GOD

    http://engforum.pravda.ru/showthread.php?t=280780

    Einstein puts the final nail in the coffin of atheism…

    *************************************

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7vpw4AH8QQ

    *************************************

    atheists deny their own life element…

    LIGHT OR DEATH, ATHEISTS?

    ********************************
    ***************************LIGHT*********
    ************************************

    ReplyDelete
  11. A prophecy of some bad things that will happen to, e.g., Egypt is a prophecy "about" Egypt. I don't see what is the point of your semantic hair-splitting. It's like the sort of willful misreading that you engaged in with the Proverbs. There's plenty of stuff here to ridicule without having to strain so much.

    ReplyDelete
  12. "It would be impossible, not improbable but impossible, for a holy and righteous God to reveal himself to one race of people (Jews), with one name (Jehovah), with one doctrine (love your enemies), and then reveal himself to another race of people (Arabs), by another name (Allah), with another doctrine (kill ‘em if you can’t convert ‘em), and create all the mayhem and confusion we see taking place today."

    Wait, I thought nothing was impossible for God!

    But if God is not holy and righteous then that should be possible. Given his track record so far, that seems to be a likelier prospect.

    ReplyDelete
  13. @DM I fail to see the relevance of light speed and time traveling to disproving or proving divinity...

    ReplyDelete

 

Copyright © 2009, Page Info, Contact Me