Tuesday, April 13, 2010

220: God and Sarah Palin, They Forget Sometimes

Isaiah 49-53
"See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." - Isaiah 49:16

Isaiah 49 is all about God restoring Israel. I've lost track of how many times Israel has been restored/destroyed by God. Anyway, about half way through God describing how he's going to restore Israel, he says, "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me." As some of you may remember, Sarah Palin used this very verse to justify her little hand scribbling snafu.



Now, for the sake of argument, we'll use Sarah Palin's interpretation of this passage. Sarah Palin apparently interprets these verses as meaning God is going to forget about the Israelites, so he has to write them down on his hand. And since God can do it, of course Sarah Palin can too. Just like Sarah Palin would be morally justified in raining down fire on helpless cites. Actually, this kind of makes sense, God does seem to forget every once and awhile that the Israelites are the chosen people and he probably shouldn't destroy them. I wonder if God thinks Africa is a country too.

The next chapter is about why Israel was given over to her enemies. This is nothing new or exciting. The Israelites are a bunch of naughty, naughty sinners. The chapter also describes how Isaiah is the most wonderful loyal servant of God.

Chapter 51 is quite contradictory. The first half of the chapter is about Israel having everlasting salvation, and the second half is about how Israel is surely going to be destroyed for drinking out of God's cup of wrath. The first half is, again, God telling all about how he freed the Israelites from Egypt. Is that all God can talk about? Perform some new miracles or something.

The second half is, as I said, about how Israel is afflicted with God's wrath. Did he not just say he was giving Israel everlasting salvation? They're getting salvation by being killed? I find a passage in here amusing, "Your sons have fainted; they lie at the head of every street." Has God departed from his normal killing? The sons of Israel just faint now? This is way too much like Pokemon.


An Israelite, feeling God's wrath.

Just take them to the pokemon hospital, they know how to heal the Israelites there. On a side note, I wonder if you could catch God with a master ball.

All of the next chapter is God telling us how he's going to return to Israel. He also complains that the Israelites blaspheme his name all the time. Some parts of Isaiah really make me sleepy.

Chapter 53 is yet another chapter in Isaiah that biblical scholars try to say is prophecy of Jesus. I'll quote a few:
He was oppressed and afflicted,
yet he did not open his mouth;
he was led like a lamb to the slaughter,
and as a sheep before her shearers is silent,
so he did not open his mouth. [Supposedly a reference to Jesus "standing silent before his accusers"]

But he was pierced for our transgressions,
he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him,
and by his wounds we are healed. ["Pierced" is supposedly a reference to crucifixion. They conveniently leave out that Jesus was never "crushed"]

He was assigned a grave with the wicked,
and with the rich in his death,
though he had done no violence,
nor was any deceit in his mouth. [This is the best one. This one is supposedly a prediction that Jesus will be crucified between two criminals, and buried in a rich man's tomb.]
I took these interpretations from my teen study bible. Needless to say, I don't see how these "prophecies" are anything but coincidences. Actually, I think they would have to fit a little better to even be considered "coincidences".

*News*
In 2006, school officials in Everett, Washington barred students from playing "Ave Maria" at their graduation ceremony due to it's religious connotations ("Ave Maria" means "Hail Mary").

Fast forward to present day. The supreme court has denied appeal to a member of the 2006 class, thus upholding the circuit court's decision, siding with the right of the school to bar the students from playing Ave Maria. Opponents are outraged, saying that the student's free speech rights have been violated. Yes, they have been violated. But who said schools were free speech zones? If I want to wear a t-shirt that says "Fuck the Police," I think a public high school would (and should be allowed to) tell me to change my shirt.

My personal opinion is that graduation ceremonies should be for... *shocker here*... graduating! What is the need to have a huge ceremony/prayer session/playing of religious hymns? Was high school so hard that you needed to invoke God for assistance? Are you thanking him for the help? I don't get it.

(via Delaware Online)

2 comments:

  1. What a great idea! Sorry I'm just stumbling on this blog now. I've also wanted to read the bible from time to time, but found it too inane to get through.

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  2. As I pointed out in a earlier post (and will undoubtedly do again), these "prophecies" are not coincidences but rather the source for these elements of the Gospel accounts.

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