"The devil said to him, 'If you are the Son of God, tell this stone to become bread.' " - Luke 4:3
All the stories today are pretty much the same as stories we've already heard (though some are out of order).
First, Jesus fasts for 40 days and is tempted by the devil. Satan says all of the same things we've already heard (turn stones into bread, jump off the cliff because God will save you, etc.). [Spoiler alert] Jesus isn't tempted.
The next story is Jesus being rejected in his home town (Nazareth). This is very out of order. At this point in Luke, Jesus hasn't even appointed his disciples yet (in contrast with both Mark and Matthew's accounts). This story also has a different flavor. Instead of seeming sad or mad that he's rejected in his home town, he asserts that every prophet was rejected in their home town. There is no mention of Jesus losing him miraculous powers (as in Mark), or refusing to perform any more miracles (as in Matthew) as a result of this rejection.
Next is the story about Jesus driving out an evil spirit (the evil spirit that only exists in Mark, Matthew doesn't mention it). This story is very similar to Mark's. In fact, it could be Mark's story. Luke has admitted to not being a first hand witness, and reading (or at least knowing about) other people's accounts of Jesus. He has to be getting these stories from somewhere, why not Mark?
Chapter 5 is a lot of boring stories that we've already heard. This includes Jesus calling his first disciples, healing a man with leprosy, and healing a paralytic. The chapter ends with Jesus being questioned about why he doesn't fast, and going on his long (seemingly unrelated) rant about clothes and old wineskins.
The supreme court has ruled that every citizen has the right to carry a firearm, trumping a Chicago law essentially banning their possession.
This, of course, has nothing to do with God or Jesus. Or so I thought:
Otis McDonald, the lead plaintiff in McDonald v. Chicago, in which the Supreme Court ruled Monday that all Americans have the right to own guns for self-defense, praised God for his victory.
"I would like to first give thanks to my lord and savior Jesus Christ for giving me the endurance to be where I am today,” he said.
Somehow I don't think that turn the other cheek, love your enemy Jesus approves of your crusade to put a weapon in everyone's hands. In fact, when Jesus is arrested, he says "Put your sword back in its place, for all who draw the sword will die by the sword". Of course, this doesn't pass the litmus test of being a "conservative value", so it's a lesson of Jesus we should clearly ignore.
McDonald, 76, also thanked his attorneys and said God must have brought them to him.
Oh, so God and Jesus are working together to further the goals of the NRA? Actually, God watching innocent people get gunned down on the streets doesn't sound that much different than God watching innocent people getting chopped up by the Israelites. So maybe, at least with respect to the Godly support, this guy isn't that far off base.